St. Lucia

My grandmother passed away last night.  She was 100 years old and had a fall with injury earlier in the week.  I wasn't trying to be morbid, but with my nursing experience, I couldn't help but dread it may be the beginning of the end for her.  As sad and sorry as I was to hear the news, I know it was a blessing and she is in a better place.  My cousin texted me last night saying, "She is in the arms of Jesus."  I always referred to her as "my sainted Grandma Helen" whenever I'd talk about her to others so in a way it was a little fitting that she slipped away from us on December 13th, St. Lucia Day.

We are attending the St. Paul European Christmas Market today with my mom, sister and her kids.  I'd already thought about baking some St. Lucia buns to take along and have with coffee and cocoa.  I was called in to work in the middle of the previous night so last night I was tired and planning on skipping baking and just knitting in my chair for the evening.  We were updated that Grandma had taken a turn and would probably not make it through the night and got the final word at 8 PM.  I had a good cry and then got up and decided to bake these to keep my mind occupied.  I find baking to be a very reflective activity.  It sounds kind of dumb, but I put the kettle on and got out all my favorite bowls and tools and used my best ingredients to bake something of an edible tribute to her.

These buns have saffron in them to give them their distinctive color.  I bought this little clay pot of saffron in Italy years ago when I backpacked.  It came filled with small paper packets of saffron powder.  I've kept the jar and refilled it over the years.  The lid is held on with waxed linen thread.

I used a recipe found in my sister's latest copy of Viking Magazine.  It calls for 1 tsp of saffron powder which is a lot of saffron.  I had only threads on hand and ground them up into powder.  What a beautiful and potent natural color.  I bought my mortar and pestle while staying at Grandma's house.  On that visit, my sister and her husband (then fiance) and I all drove up to stay with her after I returned from backpacking.  She was still living in her house then and had since moved into an efficiency apartment, then an assisted living, and finally the nursing home.  Little funny things make me think of her on a daily basis.  I make my coffee in a french press every morning and then I take Lopi downstairs to go outside.  Coming back upstairs and smelling that coffee aroma in the house always makes me think of Helen and her kitchen.

The recipe called for plain yogurt which I didn't have in the house so I substituted sour cream.  There was a lot of butter in the dough also so it was a soft and lovely enriched dough.  The color was so bright on a gloomy winter night.  I thought about Grandma while I was baking and of course most of my memories of her are in her kitchen.  I am so thankful we were able to all get together as a family almost a year ago for her 100th birthday.  It's hard to believe she is gone.

Here are my shaped buns waiting for the oven.  The pan on the left has been dressed with an egg wash and cranberries.  You're supposed to use raisins but I didn't have any and my sister hates raisins.  I'll admit I did some reading about St. Lucia and apparently she had her eyes gouged out and some say that is where the shape of these buns comes from.  What a family friendly story!  Others say the shape represents the devil's cat!  I guess I always knew the holiday as the day the oldest girl in Swedish families wears a crown of candles and brings these buns around the to rest of the family in the early morning.  I had no idea there was so much back story!

In any case, the holiday is meant to be the bright spot in the dull and dark winter and again I feel it is so fitting that Helen chose to leave us on this day.  The lights on the tree and in the windows and decorations around the house shone a little brighter yesterday because of her.  I look forward to sharing these with my family today over a cup of coffee or cocoa.  It is a beautiful bright and crisp winter day and she will be heavy in out thoughts today.  God bless you Grandma.